The year 2007 was a pivotal year for me. It was my first full year outside of my parents’ house. But I also had no idea on January 1, 2007 that by the end of the year I would also have quit my job, entered into full-time ministry, gotten back together with my ex-girlfriend, gotten engaged to her and gotten married on December 31.
In the midst of that crazy, life-changing year was a massive amount of spiritual warfare. In the early part of the year, I was ready to quit all involvement in church or ministry. I had experienced quite a bit of disappointment and betrayal from people very close to me. I was frustrated with God.
Yet as I was preparing to give up on all of it, I begin to experience God’s love and pursuit of me in such strong ways. I almost found it annoying. Because if God had actually been as bad as I was pretending He was, then I would feel justified in my whining, disillusionment and resentment. But God continued to be good. His love never stopped. His grace never stopped. The ways He continued to reveal His love towards me in that season were supernatural and relentless.
In the midst of all of this, I sat down with my guitar to flesh out my feelings through a song. I began to write…
When I’m ready to leave; when I wanna let go
There’s a seed of love; there’s a glimpse of hope
When I wanna back down; when I wanna retreat
I can see Your eyes; they are chasing me
I went on to write a chorus…
Ferocious – You are like a Lion
Roaring out of Zion – calling out my name
Relentless – You won’t let me go
I tried to run away but you’re always holding on
It became a song called Relentless. It was so personal and raw at the time, that I never thought anyone else would want to hear it or sing it. I didn’t even think of it as a worship song as much as a personal prayer.
Yet when I decided to share it with some people, it seemed to resonate strongly. I remember first singing it “publicly” at a youth group where I was asked to come lead worship as a guest. One of the youth leaders was recording the whole service on a cassette tape. The students were asking me how to get the song, which was brand new and unrecorded. The youth leader took the super raw, off-the-board tape recording and it spread around the youth group. Years later, a missions team with the World Race would sing the song in multiple nations as they traveled around the world sharing the Gospel.
I actually just re-released a 6:22 live worship album with that name. It is a ten year anniversary edition, and it obviously contains my song Relentless along with other live worship recordings.
Below is a clip of the song.
Ferocious. Relentless. Reckless.
Before I heard Misty Edwards sing “You won’t relent until You have it all” and before I heard Hillsong sing “Your love is relentless”, I too found “relentless” to be the best word to describe the Heavenly Father’s constant pursuit of my heart and destiny in Him.
There was some mild controversy when Cory Asbury recently declared God’s love to be “reckless”. The truth is that we are all trying to find words to describe an indescribable God and an unimaginably perfect love. Every description falls short of how good and amazing He is. GK Chesterton talked about the “furious love of God.” Maybe words like “ferocious”, “furious” and “reckless” seem negative. But God’s love is just so extreme it feels beyond “positive” or “negative”. It is definitely good, but it also just is. It is like the energy of life. We can not stop it. In fact the Bible says God is love.
I obviously did not quit on God or ministry back in 2007. I hope that you too give in to God’s relentless love like I eventually did during that season of my life. Let Him love you. Know that He is chasing you down. Like the Father in Luke 15 who ran off the porch to pursue the prodigal son, God is a loving Father who pursues us relentlessly.